Blessings..
I doubt many people would say infertility was a blessing. I would guess all would think quite the opposite. But if I look back on my life, before I really knew Jesus, I made so many bad choices that could have resulted in something I was not ready for. I'm not saying having babies is ever bad, but if you add in my maturity, mindset, selfishness and ability to parent during that time frame, any children I would have had would have suffered. So to me, at that time, it was a blessing that it didn't happen.
Fast forward, now almost 20 years, I find myself saying "But God, everything's good. We're on the same page now, sooo...let's get a move on" quite a bit. Jason and I are married, have good jobs, a home and the ability to provide for a child. We're ready. So what's the problem? I'm pretty sure the problem is ME. We tend to have the "I want what I want and I want it now" mindset, and I'm no different. If I could just snap my fingers and have a baby I would. But I'm not in control. Proverbs 19:21 says it best "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." There is a purpose in the wait. One I can't see or understand, but that's okay. That absolutely does not negate all the blessings that God has given and continues to give daily.
Everyday that I pray, hope and wish for something I don't have any control over, it draws me closer to God and allows me to see his grace so clearly. It gives me opportunities and fearless boldness to talk about difficult things and the hope and love that comes from Jesus, even in disappointment. That is a bigger blessing than I can imagine!
