Anxious Wife, Unhappy Life
The past few weeks have been....busy. Such a simple word for the overwhelming-ness I've been feeling. I knew I was taking on a lot, but that coupled with some big life decisions have made me want to curl up and take a nap...all the time. Prayer has been a constant, I've been consistent with one of my devos and I feel like I talk to God all the time. But still the overwhelming feeling persists. I feel restless. Part of me is longing for a big life change. Moving out of state would fit that requirement. But the other part of me is digging in my heels. After 4 years of being in Kansas I'm comfortable. I love my job, church, family and friends. I don't want to uproot again. 4 years ago this would not have even been a question. I would have jumped at the chance to move. But now...not so much.
My perfect life consists of a great job, house and family, and I have almost all of those things. I can have all of those things right where I am. Moving to a new state, new job, people and a whole lot of unknowns is not the change I see for our lives. But I feel a constant pull, a reason to be there and I can't figure it out. Maybe I'm not supposed to, just be obedient and trusting. So I'll continue praying and asking God for direction, confirmation and that my heart will rest only in Him.
