The First 30 Days
Things I’ve learned about being a {house}“parent” 1. We have no idea what we’re doing. Seriously. 98% of the time it’s just us looking at each other with questioning faces until one or the other makes a decision. Whether it was the right one, or not, is yet to be determined. 2. Teenage girls are a beautiful, loud, messy, funny, insecure, drama-filled bunch. Our favorite “parenting” technique is acting like the quintessential embarrassing mom or dad. If there’s a bad day, bad mood, irritable, huffy (oh Lord the sighing 😑), it can typically be cured with some silly embarrassment, eye rolling at us, and laughter. That’s how we get through a lot of situations that could have escalated to a not so great place. 3. I could let all my many (many, many..) insecurities get in the way of trying to do the best for these girls. It is daily, sometimes even hourly, intentionally silencing my inner voice of any and every reason why I can’t do this job, why I’m not enough. If I allowed, it could be enough to make me quit or not get out of bed. But that won’t work. For me or them. So it’s one day at a time. And every time I validate them, I try and remind myself as well. And hopefully we can all learn to change our mindset together. 4. It can be cray cray crazy 🙃🚂. I don’t know when there hasn’t been a day where we fall into bed and laugh at the fact that this day just one upped itself from the previous day. But from all that began a little rhythm. Laugh, deal, move on. There isn’t another way that doesn’t involve actually becoming crazy! I’m pretty sure “wait, what?!” (punctuation and all), is my most used saying. I’ve got muttering under my breath down to a science and I have to constantly check my facial expressions 🤨😏😒😣😩🤪My husband can confirm. 5. Speaking of my sweet husband. There is no conceivable way I could do this without him. Even if he wasn’t physically doing anything, his quiet strength and encouragement makes me keep going when I feel like maybe I can’t. He’s handled the morning routine so I can sleep in and genuinely loves spending time with the girls. My favorite part of the day is lying in bed with him and going over it. The wins and challenges, reminding us why we’re doing this. 6. And after all that we promptly pass out. Because the level of exhaustion to this adventure is..new. There is physical tiredness that comes with living with teenage girls and their almost seemingly boundless energy and ability to stay up hours beyond what I can manage! I remember being a teenager, and the lack of sleep I missed out on. I wish I could get those hours back. 7. But the emotional part..it’s more deliberate, more draining. To be intentional about our words, how we deal with their trauma, fears, insecurities and attitudes. Their push back of not quite being an adult but wanting that kind of independence. The conversations they want and need to have, and some of the offhand things they say that are heartbreaking. The other night at dinner, for example, we had two of the girls tell us that our time all together feels like a real family. Something they haven’t had in a long time, or ever, and wish for more of. My heart was full and broken at the same time. Other things include wishing we could adopt them, being surprised that we would make protecting them a priority (during an active shooter drill) and asking if they could call us mom and dad. None of these things are deal breakers, but had you told my younger self (or even myself 6 months ago) that this is where we would be, I would have laughed. Sometimes the best things are the most unanticipated 💛
