Mom {ish} Life
Serving in a part-time, mom-ish type roll for the past 9 months has been equal parts amazingly beautiful and amazingly difficult. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned myself as much in my life. This adventure we are on has had a steep learning curve and even after all this time there is still so much we don’t know. There are many days when my exhaustion level is at a high and I don’t think I can do this anymore. And then there are days like today. With joy and {happy} tears, and I can’t imagine not spending our days with these beauties. Mother’s Day is difficult for them, whether there is contact with their moms or not, and whether they want to admit it or not. Yesterday, I could already feel the tension level rising, and my heart breaks for what they don’t have, what they should have. This is probably the closest that I can come to understand how they’re feeling. I remember being in elementary school and everyone was making gifts for their moms for Mother’s Day. I was crying so hard because I didn’t have a mom to make something for, my teacher had to call my grandmother to see if she minded if I made her a gift instead. Our ladies are beyond elementary age understanding, but I know the feeling of needing and wanting something that isn’t possible at the moment. I’m grateful for Jesus, grace and forgiveness that has allowed me to have a good relationship with my mom now and I pray that our girls can have the same with theirs someday. Today was a quiet day. I used the Mother’s Day excuse for some downtime spent with everyone and shared with them how glad I am that we have been woven in their lives, and can’t wait to see the amazing women they become. My day started by listening to a sweet song by Tori Kelly {it’s called Always Love You, in case you want to ugly cry 😭}, received flowers, stuffed animals and cards, had breakfast made, got to nap, got my nails done and had dinner with everyone. It was a busy day but so special. It made me think of how amazing these ladies are, even when I’m ready to pull my hair out. This is for them. 💚 - your silliness and ability to laugh at yourself is one of my favorite things about you. I don’t think I’ll ever forget going to worship night, seeing you with your arms raised 🙌🏻, praising at the top of your lungs. I’m envious of your boundless energy and can’t wait to see how you channel that into something amazing. Thank you for always knowing when I need a laugh and hug. Love you! 💜 - I love sitting at the computer and seeing your face pop up over my monitor 🙃. Things may not have gone how you would have liked, but there is a perfect plan for your life, better than you can imagine. Keep being yourself, there’s only one of you, and she’s pretty amazing. Thank you for reminding me to be silly at least once a day. Love you! 🧡 - I love your sweet, caring heart and desire to help people who have similar stories as you. Serving others will benefit your life in more ways then you can imagine. Your growth is evident and you can only go up from here. Thank you for allowing yourself to be open to new things, even when you’re scared 🍍. Love you! ❤️ - you are bold and vibrant, sweet and caring. The right thing isn’t always the easiest, but it will make your future all the better 😎. Your big dreams and bigger heart will get you so far in life. Thank you for making me laugh {and shake my head} multiple times a day. Love you! 🖤 - you are thoughtful and kind, as well as artistic 👩🏻🎨, talented and determined. Keep your warm heart and don’t let the past define your future. I know wherever you go and whatever path you choose, you will be successful. Thank you for your daily insights, walks with Natasha and for making me say “ okay man” 🤦🏼♀️. Love you! 💛 - I remember the girl who came in with arms crossed and a scowl on her face {as I often remind you}. I wouldn’t even recognize that girl anymore, she was replaced by a caring, compassionate (😄), “frighteningly bright” young woman. Don’t let your walls be higher than your sweetness. You’re going to do incredible things, far beyond what you think, and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for you. Love you!
